[A] They lack accurate information and prior experience.
[B] They copy the actions of their parents.
[C] They want to test whether parents will enforce rules.
[D] They are held to expectations that are beyond their developmental levels.
[E] They want to assert themselves and their independence.
[F] They experience different sets of expectations between school and home.
One of the most common expressions parents can be heard saying is, "I don’t understand why he’s/ she’s doing that." There are some very common reasons why children misbehave. It is extremely useful for parents to know these because if they can pinpoint the root cause of the misbehavior, they can be more successful at reducing it.
41. ______
Children’s main job is to figure out how their complex world works. In order to master the things they need to at each developmental level they will test their parents. They are literally trying to see where the boundaries are, or, if they exist at all. Although testing is frustrating for parents they should know that it is normal and that this is their chance to really make a difference in their child’s life. How By setting boundaries and limits and consistently following through on them. This way, their children will adopt positive values and gain self-esteem.
42. ______
Consistency is hugely important in making a child feel safe and secure and able to have a comfortable understanding of the world and how it works. If they are receiving mixed messages from home and school they will feel uneasy inside and express this through more testing than normal and will feel an inner sense of stress.
The best thing a parent can do is learn a simple method to discipline and then have a conversation with their child’s teacher. During this conversation, the parents should explain their method and ask how the teacher handles situations. The goal is to try and use some of the same language at both the school and at home. With a consistent, clear message, children will rise to the expectation and be happier in the process.
43. ______
Children begin to show their desire for more independence at around age two. They start to want control over certain areas of their life so that they can feel capable and independent. It doesn’t take long for children to identify the areas they CAN control, much to the chagrin (懊恼) of parents. Situations like eating, sleeping, brushing teeth, and dressing are great examples of times when children recognize their power to get you upset and therefore make them feel in control.
What is the solution Give them loads of choice in their daily life so that they feel in control of their life. As well, it is key to learn a simple, loving method to discipline so that misbehaviors are taken care of easily, without any emotion required. Without emotion, there is no reason for the child to want to rebel in order to gain control.
44. ______
When children do something such as go to cross a road for the first time, they do not know that they are supposed to look both ways, so we all know that we must explain to them to look left and look right, etc. However, the same technique needs to be applied to discipline situations. Children will repeat a behavior over and over until they have accurate information as to what they should be doing instead and prior experience of the consequence if they continue the behavior.
Using clear, concise language stating what they "need" to be doing rather than what they "shouldn’t" be doing is extremely important. Better to say, "Carry this carefully," rather than, "Don’t drop this. " In other words, give them something to use as prior knowledge for next time.
45. ______
The best teacher of how to misbehave or act and speak inappropriately is by watching morn or dad misbehave or act and speak inappropriately. Remember, what children see and experience in the home is what their normal is. So, if they see morn and dad yelling, they will yell. If they get spanked, they will likely use hitting to express their anger or frustration. If they hear, "What" instead of "Pardon" that is what they will use.
Although not always simple, parents need to look at parenting as a life lesson in personal growth. Children can make open and willing parents into the best human beings in the world because they have the opportunity to practice being their best selves every single day of the year.