Profits of Praise
Are we too quick to blame and slow to praise? It seems we are. Praise is like sunlight to the
human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too
ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow unwilling to give others
the warm sunshine of praise.
It's strange how mean we are about praising. Perhaps it's because few of us know how to
accept praise gracefully. Instead, we are embarrassed and shrug off the words we are really
so glad to hear. Because of this defensive reaction, direct compliments are surprisingly difficult
to give. That is why some of the most valued pats on the back are those which come to us
indirectly, in a letter or passed on by a friend.
Do you ever go into a house and say, "What a tidy room!" Hardly anybody does. That's why
housework is considered such a boring job. Shakespeare said, "Our praises are our wages."
Since so often praise is the only wage a housewife receives, surely she is well worth praising.
Mothers know naturally that for children an ounce of praise is worth a pound of scolding. Still,
we're not always aware of children's small achievements and we seldom apply the rule. One day
I was criticizing my children for quarreling. "Can you never play peacefully?" I shouted. Susanna
looked at me, confused. "Of course we can," she said. "But you don't notice us when we do."
Teachers agree about the value of praise. "I believe that a student knows when he has handed
in something above his usual standard," writes a teacher, "and that he waits and is hungry for a
brief comment in the margin to show him that the teacher is aware of it, too."
Behavioral scientists have done countless experiments to prove that any human being have
a tendency to repeat an act which has been immediately followed by a pleasant result. In one
such experiment, a number of schoolchildren were divided into three groups and given arithmetic
tests daily for five days. One group was consistently praised for its previous performance; another
group was criticized; the third was ignored. Not surprisingly, those who were praised improved
dramatically. Those who were criticized improved also, bus not so much. And the scores of the
children who were ignored hardly improved at all. Interestingly the brightest children were helped
just as much by criticism as by praise, but the less able children reacted badly to criticism,
needed praise the most. Yet the latter are the very youngsters who, in most schools, fail to get
the pat on the back.
To give praise costs the giver nothing but a moment's thought and a moment's effort-perhaps
a quick phone call to pass on your praise, or five minutes spent writing an appreciative letter. It
is such a small investment-and yet consider the results it may produce. "I can live for two months
on a good compliment," said Mark Twain. So, let's be alert to the small excellences around us-and
comment on them. We will not only bring joy into other people's lives, but also, very often, added
happiness into our own.
Title: Profits of Praise
| Theme | Compared with (1) , praise should be valued and appreciated more. | Reasons for
unwillingness to
give praise | We feel embarrassed and ignore the words pleasant to our ears (2)
than accept them gracefully.
We have (3) giving direct praise because of our so-called defensive
reaction. | Importance of
praise in some cases | A house wife is (4) to be praised for her sacrifices and devotion.
A mother is supposed to be aware of their children's small achievements
and (5) the rule of giving praise.
A student waits (6) for a good comment form his teacher when he
hands in his homework above his usual standard. | Findings of
experiments on profits of praise
| Everybody (7) to repeat an act if praised more often.
Those who receive constant praise have made dramatic improvement.
Unlike brilliant children, less able children (8) badly to criticism
desperately need praise. | (9)
| It pays to make a moment's (10) to pass on praise, for it brings added joy and happiness to our lives as well as others'. |
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