I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our
36 , and especially if it’s given from the
37 . When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but
38 them. Just take them
39 . Listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than
40 it.
One of my patients told me that when she
41 to tell her story, people often
42 to tell her that they had once had something just like that happen to her. Subtly her pain became a story about themselves.
43 she stopped talking to most people. It was just too
44 . We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the
45 of attention to ourselves. But when we listen, they know we care.
I have ever learned to
46 to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues(纸巾)
47 I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them
48 , to take them out of their
49 of sadness and pain. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there
50 them.
This
51 thing has not been that easy to learn. It certainly went against everything I had been 52 since I was very young at school. I thought people listened only because they were too 53 to speak or did not know the answer. A loving silence often has far more 54 to connect than the most well-intentioned 55 .
| 小题1: | | A．introduction | B．instruction | C．attention | D．relaxation |
|
| 小题2: | | A．head | B．memory | C．mind | D．heart |
|
| 小题3: | | A．talk to | B．listen to | C．object to | D．stick to |
|
| 小题5: | | A．denying | B．remembering | C．questioning | D．understanding |
|
| 小题6: | | A．managed | B．tried | C．hoped | D．expected |
|
| 小题7: | | A．encouraged | B．interrupted | C．discouraged | D．urged |
|
| 小题8: | | A．Eventually | B．Immediately | C．Completely | D．Especially |
|
| 小题9: | | A．impolite | B．meaningless | C．lonely | D．selfish |
|
| 小题10: | | A．middle | B．focus | C．center | D．choice |
|
| 小题11: | | A．respond | B．compare | C．link | D．regret |
|
| 小题12: | | A．unless | B．if | C．until | D．when |
|
| 小题14: | | A．experiment | B．mixture | C．judgment | D．experience |
|
| 小题15: | | A．with | B．against | C．for | D．among |
|
| 小题16: | | A．complex | B．simple | C．complicated | D．single |
|
| 小题17: | | A．mentioned | B．published | C．taught | D．proved |
|
| 小题18: | | A．shy | B．greedy | C．active | D．proud |
|
| 小题19: | | A．strength | B．energy | C．power | D．force |
|
| 小题20: | | A．gestures | B．praise | C．criticism | D．words |
|